That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!” — Ernest Hemingway, “Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.”, “I drink to make other people more interesting.”, “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.”, “One can drink too much, but one never drinks enough.”, “I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitter.”, “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”, “One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.”, “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”, “Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”, “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”, “Responsible Drinking? Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks. I’m an alcoholic. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” » P. J. O’Rourke, “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” » Hunter S. Thompson, Your email address will not be published. – Anonymous, You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning. If You Constantly Drink Beer, Than For Your Health You Should Fear. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)...right to your inbox. “Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” ― Steve Martin tags: drinking , humor , writing You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. On my birthday, and when it’s not my birthday.”, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.”, “I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Drunk.” » Rita E. Torres, “Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.” » Anon, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house unless they have a well-stocked bar.”, “When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun, but when you mix the two you become a dumbass.” » That 70’s Show. “I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.” —William Shakespeare “Ignorance is a lot like alcohol: the more you have of it, the less you are able to see its effect on you.” —Jay M. Bylsma Top Ten Alcohol Sayings . They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day. The Driver Is Safer When The Roads Are Dry; The Roads Are Safer When The Driver Is Dry. It takes only one drink to get me drunk. Nothing can grab your attention from the word go like humor, and what better way to prove this, but to put forth a lengthy list of humorous quotes about alcohol. Why trust us? We just hope that you enjoyed these drinking quotes as much as you enjoy your drink―if not more than that. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)...right to your inbox. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.” » Horace Hutchinson, “What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?” » Jack Handey, “This is a good place,” he said. Allow Life To Thrive, Don’T Drink And Drive, Drink And Drive In And Our Officers Will Show You Some New Bars. 50+ Happy Anniversary Wishes and Messages, Best 40+ CLUTTER QUOTES AND SAYINGS TO INSPIRE YOU, 80+ HELLO SEPTEMBER IMAGES, PICTURES, QUOTES AND PICS [2020], 100 COOL ROYAL ENFIELD QUOTES FOR ALL BULLET BIKE LOVERS, Happiness Quotes and Sayings with Images – Sayings about Happiness, Inspirational Hope Quotes To Restore Your Desire, 38 Inspirational Parents Quotes And Sayings. Good Housekeeping participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. Remember, “the drinking” for the alcoholic is only a symptom of an underlying problem within him or her. ― Stephen Wright, The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. The rest I just squandered.” – George Best, “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”- Ernest Hemingway, “I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year’s eve. – Anonymous, I would date you, but my heart already belongs to Jack Daniels. www.imdb.com. Apple Watches Are on Sale at Amazon Right Now, 75 Creative Couple Halloween Costumes for Any Duo, 11 Best Weighted Blankets to Help You Calm Down, 40+ Seriously Cute Halloween Cupcake Ideas, Soledad O'Brien Launches "Matter of Fact" Forums, Liz Hemingway, "I Need To Stop Drinking! 11, George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. “I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.” » Don Marquis, “An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.” » Dr. Alvan L. Barach Planet914.blogspot.com, “When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.” » Frantois Rabelais, “I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” » Joe E. Lewis, “The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a beer bottle, they’re on TV.” » The Simpsons, “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” » F Scott Fitzgerald, “It takes only one drink to get me drunk. “There’s a lot of liquor,” I agreed.” » Ernest Hemingway, “Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord.” » Four Hundred Laughs, “I envy people who drink—at least they know what to blame everything on.” » Oscar Levant, “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.” » Philip Rosenthal & Mike Royce, “Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” » W.C. Fields, “The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind.” » H.L. ” » George Gordon, Lord Byron, The Deformed Transformed, “If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people.”, “I know my limits: if I fell down it means enough.”, “I feel bad for people who don’t drink. “Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications. Alcoholism begins in an early stage that looks nothing at all like a life-threatening disease, proceeds into a middle stage where problems begin to appear and intensify, and gradually advances into the late, degenerative stages of obvious physiological dependence, physical and psychological deterioration, and loss of control.” » William F. Asbury, “In my lowest moments, the only reason I didn’t commit suicide was that I knew I wouldn’t be able to drink any more if I was dead.” » Eric Clapton, “Alcoholism is a devastating, potentially fatal disease. However, alcohol is the most potent and most toxic of the legal psychoactive drugs.” » Beverly A. Potter & Sebastian Orfali, “Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy, I’ve done it a thousand times.” » W.C. Fields, “Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.” » Jean Kerr, “When you go out with a drunk, you’ll notice how a drunk fills your glass so he can empty his own. Don't miss this one, if you want to see what happens when humor and alcohol come together. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. These cool pics will surely leave you in splits and make you laugh with or without liquor. Don't miss this one, if you want to see what happens when humor and alcohol come together. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” » Ernest Hemingway, “I like liquor — its taste and its effects — and that is just the reason why I never drink it.” » Stonewall Jackson, “Drugs or overeating or alcohol or sex, it was all just another way to find peace. ― George F. Burns, The best place to drink beer is at home. – Anonymous, If I ever go missing, I want my picture on a wine bottle instead of a milk carton, this way my friends will know I am missing. I believe I’ll have another beer.”, “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”, “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”, “The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.”, “War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.”- William Faulkner, “Drink today, and drown all sorrow; you shall perhaps not do tomorrow.” -John Fletcher, “Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.”― Jerry Vale, “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill, “A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” – W.C. Fields, “Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.”, “I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.”- Brendan Behan, “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.

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